


The Family Business

by Ononymous



Series: Christmas 2019 Stories and Requests [2]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Gen, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-26
Updated: 2019-12-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21977584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ononymous/pseuds/Ononymous
Summary: The police often feel like Christmas can only go off without a hitch if they're on the front line. And it's true that not everyone is out and about just to bring a bit of festive cheer to their neighbours. So the reports coming in were almost standard, if not pleasant. What these two cops would find however wasn't what they were expecting.
Series: Christmas 2019 Stories and Requests [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580731
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	The Family Business

" _All units, report of possible burglar hanging around near The Annex, request investigation._ "

"Dispatch, this is car two responding."

The police car started up and pulled away from the store it had been "protecting", wipers doing a valiant effort at keeping the snow from blinding the driver as harsh orange light gave them a rough idea of where the street was.

"Pass me one of'em chips, Lou."

"Don't you mean 'chisps', Lou?"

"Whatever those guys call 'em. They're quite nice either way."

Louis held up the bag for Louise to grab a handful of what looked very much like chips, but were different for some reason. She put them in her mouth just in time to turn the corner and drive into what was formally called The Annex, land purchased by the monsters to build a new home on. Nobody, human or monster, seemed to have agreed on a nickname for it yet. Some called it "Newest Home", while others would give them a withering glare for that. As they entered its boundaries, the harsh orange lights were replaced with softer white light, normally something more expensive in civic planning, but much like the community itself, monsters had a secret knack for popping up faster and cheaper than traditional human methods.

"Geez Louise," joked Louis, "these are some nice houses they got here. Would ya ever think of moving here?"

"You gonna help me cover a deposit, Lou? Besides, don't you think Monsters would have some kind of ban on humans in here or something?"

"Not what I heard, Lou. I heard their king was encouraging humans to move in."

"Huh. Weird. Well on his head be it."

"Does he even have a head?"

She shrugged. The car manoeuvred the irregular but pristine streets for a few minutes. It wouldn't be hard to spot their suspect, despite it still being fairly early the streets were deserted, the monsters clearly getting ready for the big day just as much as humans do. And sure enough, in the middle of the annex they spotted a short figure struggling with a large sack.

"That's our guy," said Louis, flipping the siren on for a silence-shattering second. It had the desired effect, the sack stopped moving and was suddenly dropped to the ground. Mercifully the suspect didn't try to flee, indeed they looked frozen. The car stopped, allowing Louis to get out and straighten this out.

"Um, h-howdy!"

Given where they were, Louis wasn't sure what he was expecting, but it was still a strange sight. A short monster with a face like a goat, fiddling nervously with one floppy ear, otherwise dressed in a Santa outfit. By the time he decided how to proceed, Louise had joined him.

"Good evening, sir," said Louise. Then she thought for a moment. "It is 'sir', correct?"

"Oh y-yes, Ma'am!"

"Okay. Well, we got a call about someone suspicious wandering around," said Louis, having opted for standard operating procedure. "And, well..." he gestured to the large sack.

"Oh, oh!" In his understanding of why the police were here, the monster's exclamation sounded like a bleat. "I haven't stolen anything if that's what you think."

"Then what are you doing with that sack?" asked Louise.

"What does it look like?" He sounded indignant as he gestured to emphasise his outfit. "I'm delivering presents!"

He was certainly dressed for the part. Red coat, red trousers, black belt with golden buckle, the iconic hat. The only thing missing was black boots, instead paw-like feet tread the ice and snow without complaint.

"Name, sir?" asked Louis, trying to keep things rooted in normality.

"Well I guess tonight, I'm Santa Claus, Officer."

"And what do we call you when you clock off?" persisted Louise.

"...Asriel Dreemurr."

Louis scribbled his response in a notebook. "Age?"

"A hundred and seventeen. Wait, I guess technically I'm twelve."

Louis scratched out the unlikely age, unsure why he accepted it as though it were true. "Well then Mister Dreemurr, how can we prove you're doing what you say you're doing?"

"I thought the police already knew. My D- I mean we've always delivered our own presents, and when we came to the surface we tell the humans so they don't get any wrong ideas. There's a couple of humans that get presents from us now!" Asriel had the look of someone who's simple plan was becoming more complex and was unsure how to wrangle it back under control.

"Huh, never heard anything like that," said Louise, "but then I normally book Christmas Eve off. Lou, tap dispatch and see if they've got anything like that on file."

"Ten-four, Lou."

"In the meantime, sir, would you mind if I had a look in your bag, just to rule stuff out."

For the first time since being accosted, Asriel grabbed the sack. "My friend Undyne watches a lot of cop shows and I know I don't have to let you search anything unless a judge gives you permission!"

Louise scratched her chin. "You're not wrong, kid. I just figured that instead of standing out in the cold waiting we could- Whoops!"

She suddenly tripped forward, though it wasn't clear what she'd tripped on. Asriel rushed forward on instinct and caught her before she fell completely.

"Are you okay, officer?"

"Yup," she said, "oh look, your bag..."

He'd bumped into it when catching her, knocking it over and allowing its contents to spill out on the ground.

"Now I'm not searching your bag, am I? Just looking at what's on the ground."

Asriel looked furious at the trick, but knew better than to protest. Louis chose this moment to return from the radio, and picked up a book from the ground.

"This comic for someone?" He flicked through its pages.

"...Doctor Alphys," Asriel fumed.

"Weird," continued Louis, "it's in English but it looks like everything is happening backwards."

"And what," said Louise, "is this?" She raised an absurdly large sword like she was ready to strike. Asriel started fidgeting with his ear again.

"That's for Undyne. It's not a real weapon, it's just a replica!"

"Still, people could get the wrong idea. Could have you on a menacing charge."

"B-but...!"

"Don't give the kid a heart attack, Lou," said Louis, "I don't think anyone would picture this kid swinging that thing around. Doesn't look like a sword type."

"Actually one time I used two-"

"But hey, that's a nice action figure," he interrupted, "were you gonna keep this for yourself?"

"No! Papyrus gets that. And that imported European Ketchup is for Sans. I'm not sure who's getting the coal, the nametag fell off..."

This interrogation continued in this vein, both Lous taking care not to disturb the sack any further, but finding a new item to verify the intended target. A compendium of actor's memoirs for Burgerpants, body oil for Aaron, a small stockpile of squeaky bones for every canine in the Annex, velvet gloves for Professor Madjick which conducted their magic, large inflatable lilypads for Froggits, and on it went.

" _Car Two, respond?_ " called the Radio.

Louise walked back to the car and picked it up. "Responding, dispatch."

" _Confirmed, King of Monsters filed they would be having a Santa delivering their presents._ "

"Ha!" Asriel jabbed a finger at them. "See, I told you!"

" _Expected physical description: Dressed as Santa, barefoot. White fur, gold beard, seven to eight feet tall, horns._ "

His finger withered at the congruity the police now had, as they regarded his white fur, non-beard, four to five feet tall and no horns.

"Kid," said Louise, not anticipating the paperwork of an arrest, "unless you're gonna have a Growth Spurt, we've got a problem here."

"But... b-but I just wanted to-"

"Maybe," said Louis, "we should just clear all this up at the station. Do your parents have a phone number?"

"P-please, I only wanted to help-"

"Asriel!"

The three of them looked at a figure now dramatically stepping under a nearby streetlight. Dressed as Santa, barefoot. White fur, gold beard, seven to eight feet tall, horns. An intensely worried expression on his face, with the feeling it could escalate to fury.

Louise pinched the bridge of her nose. "This is gonna be complicated to explain."

* * *

"Well that was easy to explain."

"I know, Dad, you said that already."

The sack now rested effortlessly on a Santa who physically looked more the part, while the smaller one meekly followed him up the street.

"I would advise against impatience, Asriel," warned Asgore, "or I may reconsider my decision not to trouble your mother with this little incident."

"But," he flailed to find something to mitigate his own responsibility. "Why'd they bother me anyway? I hadn't even gone in a house yet."

"Someone called, it's as simple as that. The police merely have a job to protect everyone from harm, and that means they have to verify such reports. I'm sure they meant no actual harm."

Asriel's scowl went unseen in the dark, his more floral instincts not nearly as willing to extend the benefit of the doubt.

"But now it is my turn to ask," continued Asgore. "Why? You know I normally do this much later anyway, to avoid confusion like that."

The scowl melted away as he struggled with either justifying his actions or throwing himself on the King's mercy. "...I just wanted to give you a break. You've done this hundreds of times. Don't you just want to sit by the fire for once?"

Any impulse Asgore had for further punishment was doused by the sincere contrition. "It would be nice. But I couldn't properly enjoy it without knowing I've brought a little happiness to everyone first. And I think we know now you aren't quite ready."

Asriel's footsteps grew rather sullen. "Years and years to learn whatever I wanted as a flower, I feel like I wasted it. I should be an expert on Santaology already."

"Can you truly waste infinite time?" mused Asgore. Then shook his head. "I'll leave such questions to Gerson. Now then, how about tonight I begin your apprenticeship?"

"Yeah. Yeah! Thanks, Dad!"

He stopped to tussle his son's fur. "That's the spirit. Slow and steady breaks the barrier. Though one thing does puzzle me."

"What's that?"

"You were nowhere near the humans, so I'm wondering who on earth contacted the police in the first place?"

Asriel shrugged. "A couple of cars passed me after I snuck out of the house, maybe it was one of them."

"Hmm. Oh well, best to focus on the task at hand. Pass me the sword and the mainja comics, we're at Undyne and Alphys' house."

As the Prince began a new phase of training for the responsibilities of the throne, Jerry lay back on his sofa, proud of his civic mindedness for reporting a suspicious looking individual.

**Author's Note:**

> Original Request: Santasriel Dreemurr giving every Undertale/Deltarune what they want for christmas
> 
> Let me know what you think, and thanks for reading!


End file.
